Girl Scouts
by Abigail-Nicole
Summary: Sirius, sick of James obsessing over Lily, puts him on a 12-step program to help him become a true Girl Scout. What have the Maruaders gotten themselves into?
1. The Saga Begins

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Girl Scouts

**

Summary: Sirius, sick of James obsessing over Lily, puts him on a 12-step program to help him become a true Girl Scout. What has this authoress gotten herself into? 

Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything? Ever? _Ever?_

Notes: Loosely based on The Catsitters by James Wolcott, especially on the character of Darlene and the girl advice and such. I have most of this written out since I am on vacation (and inspiration is merciless). 

* * *

"I don't get it!"

Sirius glanced over at his best friend as James fell back with a sigh into the common room chair. Sirius smiled, holding back a laugh as James contniued ranting, oblivious to his friend's amusement. "I mean, day in and day out I try to be nice to her. I send her flowers and candy. I sent her a talking flower, a jeweled turtle, a silver owl, even a goddamn singing elf--''

"Watch your language!" Remus shouted from across the common room. 

"Shut up Mommy Moon, you're BEING BORING," Sirius shouted, loud enough so even the Slytherins turned their heads down in their dungeony common room. "James?" 

James had barely noticed. "And what? I send her notes with her breakfast. I mean, I had to special order that embrodiered scarf with that poem I wrote, and what does she do? Throws orange juice in my face!"

"Was that the poem with the 'her skin like bleached snows/oh the beauty of her gorgeous nose/her lovely jeweled eyes/ like green leaves under the skies'?" Peter asked doubtfully from nearby. 

"Shut up, Wormtail," Sirius said loudly. "There is serous counseling going on here!" He turned back to James, who was settled on the traditional Freudian coutch, and looked down at his notepad while James yammered in the background. Right now, it had one angry-looking stickgirl, a stickman holding a broken heart, lots of squiggly lines, and a hand with a very rude gesture. There was also a ghostly-looking bunny rabbit and an oblong shape covered with dots that could have been a pickle. 

"What do I do?" James asked finally. Sirius glanced up, reallizing he had completley lost everything after the 'orange juice in my face' line. He wracked his brain, and he vaguely came up with some phrases like "kicked me in the groin", "ink on my face" and "written on bathroom walls." 

"I know exactly how to cure you, James,' Sirius said decisively, snapping his notebook shut. James, for the first time in months, gave Sirius his undivided attention. 

"How?" he asked breathlessly. 

"You, Prongs, need to learn the Ways of Women," Sirius said, the capital letters evident. James stared at him, raising one eyebrow. "It's true," Sirius said, leaning forward. "There is a certain way that girls act, which is very predictable to experienced girl scouts like me, which I can teach you to be. Now, you want to get Lily. You need to change. You need to look at the guys Lily's dated, look at Lily's friends. See what kind of people she likes. Start by helping Lily's friend, by getting them to like you. Prongs, old pal, you need the time-tested-boy-approved-girl-watching-12-step-Sirius Girl Scouting Method!" 

James leaned forward, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and facing Sirius. "How? When? Where?" 

"What, why, who?" Peter interjected wryly. James and Sirius both ignored him. 

"I think you should start soon," Sirius said decisively. "You really need the total immersement treatment, but I can't do that at Hogwarts." He flipped open the notebook and scribbled down something, ripped it out with a flourish, and gave it to James. 

"Um, Sirius, I can't read kanji," James said after a minute. "You also share a dorm with me, have all classes with me, live at my house during the summer, share an owl with me--"

"Hey, is James talking about something besides Lily?" Peter asked, sounding shocked. James actually focused on him long enough to throw him an evil glare. Peter pretended to have a heart attack from the shock, and Remus cracked up from across the room.

"Shut yer trap, both o' ye," James shouted in a good imitation of Hagrid. Even Sirius doubled over laughing, and Peter almost wet himself. 

"This is the way the Marauders are supposed to be," Sirius grinned to himself. "Time for the 12-step Sirius Girl Scouting Method to live up to its reputation! Then James can get Lily, stop obsessing over her, and it'll be fine." He raised his voice. 'Hey James, it says meet me tonight in the dorm room for the introduction and step one to the program!" 

"Yes, oh Sirius one," James said, bowing deeply with mock solemness. 

"Very funny," Remus said dryly, picking up his books and coming to sit on the couch across from them. "Hey, is the counseling session over? Sirius, what did you do to get James to quite obsessing over--" he paused as Sirius made frantic gestures behind James's back not to mention the name, and changed in mid-word. "Li--Quidditch?" 

"He's been introduced to the twelve-step Sirius Gi...Recovery Method," Sirius said, trying to steer the conversation away from Lily and girls in general. Remus managed a hacking cough that sounded strangely like 'Padfootispsycho'. "Bad cough?" Sirius asked sympathetically, and James laughed. 

Sirius's tactic might have worked and things might ahve gone well if, at that exact moment, Lily had not entered the common room. Peter, Remus, and Sirius's faces all fell comically where James's rose just as comically. Lily had obviously just come back from the library, staggering under the weight of several heavy books, her bag crammed with papers, quills, and ink. James sprang up like a flower before the sun. "Lily! Let me help you with that!" 

Everyone in the common room except Sirius sighed, and he began scribbling things in his notebook which looked like rather disturbing stickpeople, followed by a long line of writing that was unintelligable from squiggly lines. 

"Go away, Potter," Lily said as she hurried towards the girl's dorm stairway. "Just--stop--right--there," she gasped, but it was to late. James had run forward, grabbing several books out of her hand and causing them all to fall. He lunged forward to catch the rest, but only dropped the books he was holding, overbalanced and plunged straight into Lily's bag, sending quills flying, parchment ripping, and ink crashing. 

Everyone in the common room silmulatenously groaned and braced themselves. Sirius scribbled furiously in his notebook, writinmg things longer than any word Remus had ever seen. He thought briefly it might be Arabic. 

"I'm so sorry, Lily," James gasped out, scrambling for her books. "I'm really sorry, I just wanted to help, I'm so sorry--"

Lily seemed on the verge of hysterial. She had her hands balled into fists and they were shaking--a piece of parchment fluttered out of her hair, already a short red static disarray. Her eyes were flaming, and with a quiet, shaking, barely controlled voice, she said through gritted teeth: "It's all _right_, Potter. Just _go away._" She exhaled heavily. Any dumber person that had been only a fraction less in love might have realized enough to back off. 

But, alas, James did not. 

* * *

"I think--ow!--I might have come on a tad too--ow! Moony!--strong," James said, wincing as Remus held the ice to the bruise on his forehead. The Marauders had been all for sending James to the Hospital Wing, but James, fearing for Lily's detention-free record, has dug his heels in with all his stubborn Potter pride, and they knew enough to give it up. 

"I think that one 600-page hardback edition of Arthmancy in Daily Life caused that one," Sirius said helpfully, freezing more water with his wand for James's lip. 

"I knew Arthmancy was evil," James muttered. 

"What seemed most painful was the Advanced Transfiguration book smashing your glasses into your face," Remus pointed out, equally helpful. 

"Really? Because I thought," Peter said, with sarcastaic surprise, "that the worst was the ink pot in the groin." 

"I just don't understand," James said. "I mean, I tried to help her carry her boks. I apologized. Why did she start throwing books at me?" 

"James, are you seriously that dense?" Remus sighed. "Well, it could be the three hundred incidents before that. The green Jello,"

"That was Sirius," James interrupted. 

"Prongs, it might have been the demanding 'go-out-with-me-or-else' act, or the time you tried to impress her by flying to the top of the castle and got stuck on that statue, or the bad poetry that was os long it hung off each end of her bed and took three owls to lift, or the elves that followed her around all week singing--I think that one almost made her cry-- or that one time in Transfiguration when you turned the desks into cherubs that sang bad love songs, hoping to impress her but got us all detention, or the sabatoge of her mashed potatoes so they said 'I Love You Lily' in red food dye that looked like blood and made her faint, or the flashing sign on Valentine's Day last year, or the--"

"We get the picture, Padfoot," James interrupted, touching his busted lip, which was starting to swell. 

"Really?"Remus asked sarcastically. "Then why do you _keep doing it?_"

"It's an addiction, Moony, a cycle of violence," Sirius said, freezing more water with his wand. "First it's a crush. Then it turns to obsession, and pretty soon it's every time you see that person. Then you start daydreaming about them, then night-dreaming about them. Then you have so much feeling it all overflows into oem form, then you, by now desperate for attention, start to buy her things to try to impress her, but you try too hard and she starts to think you're pathetic. From then, anything you do will backfire because the more you try to impress her, the more pathetic she thinks you look, which only makes you want to impress her more." 

There was a short silence, then James said puzzedly: "I think I've just been insulted. But I'm not sure." 

"I'm trying to help you here!" Sirius interjected, wounded, but Peter interrupted him. 

"You sound like you have experience in the field, Padfoot," he said, amused. "Who is it?" 

Sirius shrugged. "I have groupies always following me around, and I observe them." He changed the subject while James was still sputtering:_ "Groupies?"_ and continued: "I've been watching various people flirt with other people with successful or insuccessful results; Alice Remerta with Frank Longbottom, successful, Fiona Landon with me, unsuccessful, Remus with Aladidn, successful and disgusting--"

"Hey!' Remus interjected, wounded, but Sirius continued: 

"and James with Lily, majorly unsuccessful. I've taken notes on all their successes and failures." He held up the note proudly. Remus took it, and James and Peter peered over his shoulder at it. 

"And I thought you were brushing up on your kanji," James said after a short silence. 

"No, half of it's in Arabic," Sirius said, pointing. "But these notes contain all the information about the 'obsession-rejection cycle'," Sirius protested, handing James the ice. "And once you identify the problem, you can break it! I'm going ot help you be a girl scout so you can impress Lily, that's how I'm going to help Prongs!" 

There was a short silence. "Riiiight," Remus said finally, lightly. "So, what about that war in the Middle East?" 

* * *

**End chapter one **

**Chapter Two Preview:**

"Hang on a sec," James said, writing frantically. "Can you start again from the 'now, say this guy,' please?" Remus peered at James's paper, which was covered with every word Sirius had said in the last ten minutes. He shook his head. 

"Don't write every word I say, James," Sirius interrupted. "There's too much subject to cover. Just what I drew here." He tapped the blackboard. 

James looked up and crumpled his piece of paper. "Moony, can you hand me a piece of paper?" 

If they had been anime characters, they would have sweatdropped. However, being a real person, Remus could only show his exasperation by throwing the notebook at James's still-bruised head.


	2. Learning to Duck

**Girl Scouts**

Chapter 2: Learning to Duck 

Summary: Sirius, sick of James obsessing over Lily, puts him on a 12-step program to help him become a true Girl Scout. What have the Maruaders gotten themselves into? 

Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything? Ever? _Ever?_

Notes: Loosely based on The Catsitters by James Wolcott, especially on the character of Darlene. I have part of chapter three written out, and will type it up soon, but I won't put up chapter three until I have at least ten reviews. Same as with chapter two. My beta won't beta HP, so this is totally unedited except by me. Just a warning. Also, I put the previews not because I'm a big-shot but so someone will comment on them and motivate me to write the next chapter. This is long now, so enjoy!

* * *

Sirius tapped the blackboard behind him with his wand. He cleared his throat and wrote in green, glowing letters: THE 12-STEP SIRIUS GIRL SCOUTING METHOD. James scratched the words on his paper. Remus and Peter rolled their eyes before going back to Exploding Snap. 

"You two, either quit playing games or leave the classroom," Sirius said sternly. "Put the game away and take notes!" 

"Um, Sirius, this is the dorm room and it's after-hours. We can't go away. Besides, I already have a girlfriend," Remus pointed out. 

Sirius glared at him sternly. "Then I suggest you take notes, young man!" He glared at Remus and Peter until Remus sighed, muttered something under his breath, and pulled out parchment and quill. Peter grudgingly followed him. 

"I don't know why I put up with this," Remus muttered, but Sirius began to lecture. 

"Step One of the program is combined with the introduction. Let's start off with ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM." He wrote ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM in green letters on the board. "The problem is what I like to call the 'obsession-rejeciton cycle', though it's only a cycle in its final stages." He drew a stick figure on the board, whih waved cheerfully, then stayed put. Above him, Sirius wrote THE OBSESSION-REJECTION CYCLE. 

Sirius turned and faced the three Marauders seated on Peter's bed. "Now, say this gu," he tapped the sick guy, who shook himself, "meets a girl." Sirius drew a stick figure with a bow and two sticks for hair, and tapped her. She moved, waving at the three fifth years and smiling at Sirius, who frowned at her. "Now, say--"

"Come on Sirius, she's flat," Peter interrupted. "That would be like child molestation." 

Remus shook his head sadly. The stickgirl frowned and crossed her arms defensively. Sirius glared at Peter and continued, a little louder. "Now, say that--"

"Hang on a sec," James said, writing frantically. "Can you start again from the 'now, say this guy,' please?" Remus peered at James's paper, which was covered with every word Sirius had said in the last ten minutes. He shook his head. 

"Don't write every word I say, James," Sirius interrupted. "There's too much subject to cover. Just what I drew here." He tapped the blackboard. 

James looked up and crumpled his piece of paper. "Moony, can you hand me a piece of paper?" 

If they had been anime characters, they would have sweatdropped. However, being a real person, Remus could only show his exasperation by throwing the notebook at James's still-bruised head.

After James had copied down everything, Sirius clared his throat, tapping his foot. "Done?" he asked icily, giving James a piercing stare reminiscient of McGonagall. James nodded meekly. "Good. Now, say that this guy," he poked stickguy, "started to like this girl." He tapped stickgirl. He drew a heart on the stickboy, then stick boy got an expresison on his face that made the Marauders wince--they had seen that look too many times on James. 

"Um, Sirius?" Remus asked. "I have a question. Who taught you this stuff?" 

"Sarah Faye Angele," Sirius said absently. 

"I thought you two broke up," James frowned. 

Sirius snorted. "I'm surprised you noticed. We're still friends. Now, back to the lesson!" he glared at the Marauders sternly, then turned back to the blackboard. 

"Now, say this guy likes this girl. But stickguy here is afraid stickgirl won't like him. So afraid that he doesn't flirt with her or even talk to her. This is step one." Sirius wrote STEP ONE: UNHEALTHY AVOIDANCE FOSTERS THE CRUSH on the blackboard. He paused to let them copy down this information and continued. "If possible, try not to let this happen. When you have a crush on a girl, tell someone or flirt with her. Don't keep it inside. But if you do, you're past step one. Step two is when Stickguy starts to write poetry about stickgirl, and basically--" he stopped and wrote on the board STEP TWO: ARTISTIC EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS. 

"I think James skipped step one and went straight to step two," Peter said wryly. 

"Moony's a better professor," James said mischeviously. "He obeys more rules." 

"Rules are meant to be broken, kiddies," Sirius said, grinning. "But anyway. After step two is step three, which is sending anonymous notes or occasionally, towards the end, treating her differently, starting to obsess over her publically, in small ways." 

"Nevermind, James skipped straight to the end of step three," Peter declared while writing STEP THREE: HIDDEN OR BRIEF DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. 

"You make it sound like sex," Remus commented, amused. Sirius glared at him. 

"It's step three! What do you want it to say?" Sirius asked defensively.

Remus put a hand to his forehead. "Saty it with me," James said sympathetically, and they both chorused: 

**"Never mind, Padfoot."**

Sirius looked mildly annoyed. "Now, after step three, then the cycle begins. STEP FOUR: YOU TRY TO IMPRESS HER," he wrote as he said it, and again the Marauders bent over their notes. Then he wrote right below it: STEP FIVE: SHE THINKS YOU'RE PATHETIC and drew arrows showing a circle between the two. 

"This," he said, tapping the last two, "is where James is." He paused for effect. 

James looked annoyed. "So, what are you going to do?" he asked impatiently after he felt the puase had gone long enough. 

"This is where the 12-Step Sirius Girl Scouting Method begins," Sirius said confidently. "The first step is to set a goal to get a certian girl," he wrote on the board: GIRL SCOUTING METHOD as a subtitle, then wrote: I. SET A GOAL TO GET A CERTIAN GIRL. "Which James did ages ago," Sirius added. "Anyway, the girl is almost guaranteed to be the same girl you obsess over. Step Two," and he wrote it down: II. IGNORE HER FOR A WEEK, saying each word as he wrote it. Sirius paused to let his words sink in, then continued. "This is to get her mind off you for a while, to get all the negative thoughts out of her head, which we will replace with good thoughts. Give her a chance to forget your past mistakes." 

He leaned over and wrote III. START OBSERVING THE GUYS SHE LIKES OR HAS LIKED. "And imitate them," Sirius added verbally. "Make her see you as more than an annoyance. " 

"Just out of curiosity, why did Sarah tell you all this _after_ you brke up?" Remus asked. 

"She still liked me and was trying to impress me," Sirius shrugged. "But she and I both knew there was no chance. She's over it now. She's my 'insider information' on almost any girl in Gryffindor." 

"Can she get pictures of Lily asleep?" James asked, the expression his friends had come to call the 'Lily Look' crossing his face. 

"She's not lesbian, James, she went out with me," Sirius said, disgusted. "Now, pay attention. Step four:" he wrote it: IV. START A FILE. KEEP RECORDS OF EVERYTHING. "Keep track of everything about her, what she likes, her friends, types of guys she likes. It's very useful." 

"Um, SIrius, only _James_ is obsessed with Lily, not us," Peter pointed out. 

"These work on other girls!" Sirius said defensively. "Especially if you're as obsessed as Prongs here. STEP FIVE," he said loudly as he wrote. V. GO FOR HER FRIENDS. "And be nice to them," he added, crossing his arms. "Make them put in a good word for you. Don't mention them to any other girls, or any other girls to them. We'll get to that later. Then step six:" he wrote it: "VI. GO FOR THE GIRL." He paused. "This is the ultimate test, and a whole nother series of steps within itself. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. That's where you REALLY start keeping files, and when the 'friendliness tests' come in."

"Um, just how long does this take?" Remus interrupted. "It's November now--will we be done by Christmas?" 

Sirius shrugged. "I've never tried it before," he said honestly. 

James groaned. 

"I'm doomed." 

* * *

**End chapter 2**

**Chapter Three Preview:**

He held out a manilla folder, like Muggle businessmen use, which read: PROJECT G.E.T.T.I.NG. L.I.L.Y in red letters. 

"Padfoot, why did you use abbreviations when you spelled 'getting Lily'?" Remus asked, sititng up on his elbows. 

"It stand for...Going Everyday To Talk...James...Into Not Girls..." Sirius faltered, staring at the folder, "and Lily in particular...no, wait, I mean Lily in Large...Ying-Yangs," Sirius said, then hurriedly added: "But that's not important!" 

He swept open the folder with a flourish while James was sputtering: _"Lily In Large Ying-Yangs?"_ incredously and Remus was rolling.


	3. Lifestyles of the Rich and Average

**Girl Scouts**

Chapter 3: Lifestyles of the Rich and Average 

Summary: Sirius, sick of James obsessing over Lily, puts him on a 12-step program to help him become a true Girl Scout. What have the Maruaders gotten themselves into? 

Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything? Ever? _Ever?_

Notes: Loosely based on The Catsitters by James Wolcott, especially on the character of Darlene. Thanks to everybody and sorry for the...huge...delays. =P Well, it's up now. A lot of this was inspired by 'The House of Wolves', which is really good. Love you all.

* * *

_"Ri-ise, and shi-ine, and give Frog the gory story! ri-ise, and shi-ine, and give Frog the Gory Story Rise and shine and! give Frog the gory story, children of the borg!"_

Remus covered his head with his pillow. "It's give God the glory, glory, children of the Lord," he shouted through the pillows.

"Up, Moony!" Sirius shouted cheerfully, pulling the pillows off of Remus's head and beating him with them mercilessly. 

"Mercy!" Remus yelled, pulling covers over his head. Peter sat up and stared, bleary-eyed, at James's luminescent watch. 

"It's SIX O'CLOCK!" he said despairingly and fell back onto his pillow. Sirius skipped around the room, jumping on everyone's bed, pulling covers off and putting them on like capes as he pulled back the curtains. 

"Ri-ise, and shi-ine, and give Frog the gory story! Ri-ise and shi-ine, and give frog the gory story children of the Borg!" he repeated happily. He stopped at James's bed with such silence that Remus and Peter looked up. James's head thudded on the mattress as Sirius pulled his pillows out from under him and started beating him with them. James dind't move. Sirius lowered his head to James's eye level and blew in his face, but James didn't budge.

"It's Monday," Remus pointed out.

Sirius gave an "ooo-hhh" of understanding, then replaced the pillows carefully. He grabbed a conviently placed Air Horn and stepped onto James's bed carefully, then he jumped on the bed around James yelling: "GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP!!!" and blowing the Air Horn furiously.

If every single person in Hogwarts wasn't awake by then, they were afterwards.

"ISWEARIDIDNTDOANYTHING!" James yelled frantically as he sat up in bed, knocking Sirius over in his lap. Both paused and there was a moment of unnatural silence. 

"Why, James," Sirius said breathily. "I didn't know you were _that_ way."

James pushed Sirius onto the floor. "Oomph," Sirius complained. "Is that anyway to treat your mentor and counselor? It's Day One of Step One," he shouted. "Project G.E.T.T.I.N.G. L.I.L.Y, Part One: Ignore Lily!" he shouted loudly enough for the Slytherins down in their dungeons to hear.

"What?" James asked, reaching for his glasses, then turning to stare at Sirius owlishly. Sudden horrible realization struck across his face and his mouth hung open. "I have to ignore Lily?" 

"How will you live?" Peter remarked sarcastically. James threw a pillow at him.

"That it step one," Sirius said happily. "Today, you start keeping the Project File!" He held out a manilla folder, like Muggle businessmen use, which read: **PROJECT G.E.T.T.I.N.G. L.I.L.Y** in red letters.

"Padfoot, why did you use abbreviations when you spelled 'Getting Lily'?" Remus asked, sitting up on his elbows.

"It stand for...Going Everyday To Talk...James...Into Not Girls..." Sirius faltered, staring at the folder, "and Lily in particular...no, wait, I mean Lily in Large...Ying-Yangs," Sirius said, then hurriedly added: "But that's not important!" 

He swept open the folder with a flourish while James was sputtering: _"Lily In Large Ying-Yangs?"_ incredously and Remus was rolling.

"Sheet One: The Subject!" There was a picture of Lily stuck to the page, who smiled unknowingly at her audience, making James get the Lily Look and Remus, Peter, and Sirius roll their eyes in disgust. "Prongs, you'll fill all these pages out about Lily, there are only three. Then her past boyfriends and friends!"

James picked it up. " 'Birthmarks', 'Pets'..." he read on down. " 'Favorite Ice Cream'? 'Illegal Activities'? 'Brand and Scent of Shampoo'? Sirius, I'm never going to find all this out! This is not a Scotland Yard investigation!"

"James, the Girl Scouting Method is very thorough!" Sirius cried. "After you get all that, I have pages of tips and tricks and pick-up lines to get her to like you, then tests to see if she really likes you!"

Remus had to stuff a pillow in his face to keep from cracking up. Peter was rolling and James looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "So what do I do today?" he asked meekly.

"Today, you ignore Lily. Don't speak to her, and if she comes into a room, ignore her. Don't look directly at her. Try to fill out your page on Lily, ask her friends, her enemies, Snape, anybody. Frankly, anyone knows more about Lily than you."

James hit Sirius with a pillow.  
  
**9:15am**

_"Sirius,"_ James hissed. "How can I ignore her for an _entire day?_" 

Sirius glanced over at James. He looked desperate. Lily was sitting at a desk a row over from him, absently curling a strand of her hair around her figure, managing to look (in a way that Sirius had come to loathe) absolutely adorable.

"Don't look at her," he advised. James shot him a desperate look.

"Think about something else," Sirius advised. "Think about Quidditch."

"We have practice today," James said absently. "I wonder if she'll be there?"

Sirius smacked himself in the forehead. "You are the most insufferable person in the entire world!" he said, mimicking Lily's voice. James's head whipped around from where he had turned to stare at Lily once more, to stare at Sirius wildly. 

"What? Lily said something? Where?"

Sirius laughed. "I can't believe you fell for that one, Prongs," he said, grinning. James smook his head but grinned, starting to laugh. 

"I take the point," he said wryly. "I'll chill out."  
  
**Excerpt from the files of James Potter**  
  
Name: Lily Evans  
Nicknames: Flower(not well liked), none  
Age: 16  
Hair: dark red  
Eyes: bright green like emeralds shining in the midst of her beautiful face  
Skin: lovely as a freshly fallen-snow, like lily petals glistening under moonlight  
Height: short  
Weight: next to nothing  
Favorite Color: blue  
House: Gryffindor  
Where She Lives: Little Whiging?  
Bag: black with blue trim  
Favorite Scent: Honey or Vanilla  
Pets: a cat named Qyntaryn  
Astrological Sign: Aires  
Chinese Zodiac Sign: no clue  
Siblings: one?  
Race: garglefinchian (Sirius, quit scribbling on my paper!)  
Shirt Size: Small  
Shoe Size:...very small  
Clubs: Charms Club, Drama club  
Toothbrush: honestly Sirius, how do you expect me to know this?  
Favorite Music: Olivia Newton-John (who??)  
Would she....(in your opinion)  
Sings in the shower?: yes  
Turn it up or just get closer?: turn it up  
start it or finish it?: finish it  
stay bored or get things done?: get things done  
apologize or be stubborn?: if it were her fault she'd apologize, otherwise be stubborn  
get rejected or never ask?: get rejected  
know or think?: know  
trust or suspect?: trust  
kiss on the first date?: no _(tearmarks stain the page)_

* * *

**Notes:** Sorry, no preview, I haven't written it yet, and this was rather short-ish. Some of the quiz questions from http: //www.geocities. com/purpleabigail/quiz.html, if you really cared. This is my first humor stab after a lot of angst, so enjoy. I'm still waiting on Mel to email me about the Oracle, so that might take a while. 


End file.
